A toe dipped

In moments of unadulterated life, I buckle. I gasp, I exclaim, I clutch something close. I don’t act. And this, more than anything, has defined my life. Against the looming, grand hopes, I dug into where I was standing. I shied away from the beckoning light. It’s taken me decades to fulfill what I’ve proven to be easy and accessible to me. And it just makes me wonder what else I am remarkably capable of. Could it be that the only thing that’s stopping me from happening is the anticipation of what will transpire once I do? A brave new world I am too meek to face. A version of myself I am unprepared to meet. The human equivalent of dipping a toe in when the less painful thing to do is jump. I measure my exposure to life. Maybe it’s a handicap I will have to embrace. Perhaps there’s nothing to be done for my threshold. Perhaps it’s enough that I find ways to make it all happen in time anyway.

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