unoriginal moments

Perhaps we only experience a moment once, but we live it many times. The surreal feeling that what I’m seeing through my eyes right now I will watch again at some indeterminate point in the future. Eerie and wonderful and heart wrenching. To be tucked in tightly to the normalcy of this moment and yet feel a far gone nostalgia that is not entirely mine, for something I have not yet lost. To know that there could be decades that stretch on from this now and still I’ll visit here in longing. It tugs on the heart gently so to know that as this moment burgeons and passes and leaves us behind, there will never be a time when I’m closer to it nor will there be a chance to get back.

Such a tempting little eden we’ve been released into. Loudly presented with delights and infinite possibilities. But there is one cruel fate that we agree to perhaps too hastily. There is no pausing. There is no loitering without waste. There is no grace without the impossibility of total redemption. That which we idly forfeit is lost. That which we too comfortably keep will slip most certainly. The knowledge that to love is losing bargain. All that I care for I will have to leave behind. Perhaps it is still worth making the deal, but it is a cruel fate all the same.

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