In my cocoon

A color I’ve never seen. A flower that’s never before opened. The conditions are finally right for me to know this season of my life. The woman I am is a mirror version of who I was, but so metamorphosed now that this body I wear might as well be a cocoon. The girl of yesteryear could never know this love, could never claim this saturated life. I’ve come so far from where she’s been, she may not have even imagined the place I enjoy now. And this love, she wouldn’t dare to imagine it. She wasn’t yet ready to assume the life I cried for, fought for, bled for. And now I see colors I only hoped could fill in my shades of grey.

It’s uncharted waters, under maritime law. Every careful footfall is a risk. Every moment I become more attached, a vulnerability. But I have good feelings about these seas. They’re reasonable, level. I think they lead somewhere good. It’s a Martian landscape that is yet unmapped, i’s atmosphere potentially lethal, its gravity so thin it makes my head spin. But anything can be home with a little heart.

There’s a little honor that comes from being the recipient of your affections. There’s a badge to be warranted in earning your love. Not every girl I’ve been would’ve been worthy, would’ve been ready. What an undertaking it has been to find my way to you, it has been worth every skirmish for the way you saturate my world.

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