The girl who turned thirty was 6 days into her next big adventure. She’d been laid off from the comfortable place she’d been perched just 6 weeks before. She’d called a friend for lunch who had canceled the morning of and she’d never heard from her again. She was terrified and hopeful and praying it exceeded her expectations. It didn’t, but she grew. She published … Continue reading 30

The year has gone in two clean halves. The first was a ghost I buried and mourned, one who lingered graciously until the summer months to fulfill its unfinished business. It was indulgent, that half. The easy forgetting of the thing that fell it. The hopeful carrying on of someone too blind to the circumstances to understand the foolishness of it all.  The second was … Continue reading Blood moon

$9.35 is the cost of peace. Postage on a package that carries the last leverage you’ll ever have and the last words I ever need to say. The sender and the recipient read the same, because no matter what, it needs to make it to you. I won’t be taking it back. For less than $10 I can be done with what ails me. And … Continue reading The cost of peace

If this title is vaguely familiar to you, you’ve been here a while. I wrote a blog post called the same thing February 18, 2021. One of the absolute worst months I can remember having. To be honest with you, I never revisited that post. I just reached the end of my thoughts and I thought of a name, one title that could summarize the … Continue reading Of Love and its Horsemen: The book

We as a species have decided that time means something. That no one in their twenties is responsible enough to plan for the future and no one in their thirties is lively enough to stay out past 10. Forty is when you stop caring what people think and sixty is when you’ve paid enough dues to be released from the indenture of society. And because … Continue reading 29

There are still 2 more months for me to be 29. So this reflection on being is potentially premature. But there are only a couple more days left to be in 2023–and besides, I have a feeling that I’ll have something entirely new to say by February. 2023 eclipses 2020 as the year that required the most work. A different kind of work, anyhow–less scaffolding, … Continue reading the spendthrift

From July 7, 2023 His name was Tambi. I’m not sure if that’s the name you had for him in the first few months of his life or if that’s the name the shelter gave him in the scant few hours he was there. But if you recognize his name from the calls of it throughout your house or from the photoless listing on the … Continue reading to the family who surrendered my dog

The time lapse didn’t go through. The phone died on the end table where it was perched upon a patio chair. For now, and for ever, the shadows of the clouds upon the craggy peaks will only ever live in my mind. Their supple bodies hovering not so distantly over the leathery faces of Turtleback Mountain. Each one of these little darlings holds a storm. … Continue reading Truth, or consequences

There was Rebecca, and Stephanie, and the blonde—what was her name? We were sitting there outside Le Politique on a cool Spring day sharing a bottle of rosé with you, Lucy. Rebecca was oft too hungover to dance, it’s no wonder she abdicated without further grandeur to greener pastures on her Sunday afternoons. Stephanie had her baby, and then another, life got full. The blonde—what … Continue reading A vision of a chartreuse Spring

I don’t know what it was about today that inspired me to press send, to write the message I’d crafted fragments of for weeks. I noticed when the emails stopped, don’t think I didn’t. I know I’ve been a poor correspondent. Perhaps it’s all this god damned growth. This year’s lengthy list of demands so that I may pass freely out the other side. 29 … Continue reading Retirement