I serve no master, not even death. My life is for me and its culmination is not his gift. I will not fill my days with trite adages of love and loss. I will not center the longevity of my life around the finality of its fate. While I am here, I am tethered only to gravity, carried only by my two feet. No simple … Continue reading Untethered

If I spend my days consumed with death then I have already forfeited my life. It doesn’t do to debate reality. The house always wins. There is no resolution to that argument that will bring you peace. In the end, dying is easy. It happens all the time. Living is much harder. Living well, even, is a never ending challenge. The way I see it, … Continue reading Proverbs for the weekend

Perhaps finding balance is not about finding solid ground. Perhaps it is simply about being able to stand up straight atop a wavering, towering pole. It will always sway in the wind. There is no halting or hushing the jarring of the Earth. There is no Mecca at the end of our cloying that looks like a stable plateau. In our undying search for balance … Continue reading The fallacy of balance

“When we’re afraid of the cars that are coming, we don’t stop in the street,” I tell my dogs. “We keep moving, so the cars will be behind us.” “You have to listen to yourself,” I tell my friends, “your body is telling you what you need to do. Everything else can be figured out later.” The words I need are inside me. They find … Continue reading The tracks of the world

The flaxen leaves find themselves littered in the crevices of the aged asphalt. Their honey glow contrasting wildly from the cracked black street at my weary feet. It reminds me of broken vases repaired with molten gold. Little fissures that don’t devalue the art piece, but are believed to make it more beautiful. I kick at them despondently as my heart droops from this little … Continue reading The melting point of gold

I never thought I was a brave person. No one else did either. Until I scrapped my whole life and started over. Then suddenly I was brave. I never thought I was a strong person. I had the evidence to prove it. Until I stood against the hot winds of rejection over and over again, and I stepped forward. Then I knew I was strong.  … Continue reading The disparagement of the fire starter

I still find you all over me like red desert dust. Finger-traced maps of everywhere our skin collided. It’s been months since I’ve laid eyes on you, and yet in idle hours my mind still dances to your fading song. What is this hold you have over me? This claim you’ve made to the uncharted parts of my subconscious? You’re wrong for me, I know … Continue reading When did you become an echo

It is not lost on me that I am a tumultuous soul seeking quiet in the dead center of a sprawling city. I yearn for solitude and yet share a building with strangers. On the other sides of these superficial walls, life is loudly transpiring. Celebrations, mournings, professions of the heart. And when I step outside, even the night air doesn’t lie still. No matter … Continue reading Cherished cuts

My days are dotted with little coincidences. Small near misses of serendipitous things that flitter in the light like the jagged edge of a crystal. Little red strings that bind my world, almost imperceptibly. The moment that one catches my eye, it feels like God is winking at me. I don’t know if I believe in a god, I don’t know if I am qualified … Continue reading Ley lines

Too many times I have cried over spilled wine. Pushed to the limits of what I can handle and dangled over the edge, somehow the denial of simple comforts feels like too much. This is the plight of the doer. The valley of those who put themselves in the way of the world. Failure and rejection are always outcomes. They have just as much of … Continue reading The plight of the doer