Tell me you’ll forgive me. Tell me you won’t spend the rest of your life wondering where I am. Tell me you won’t even miss me. That the best I could do was good enough.  Tell me that I made the right choice. That you’re happy and you’re loved and you want for nothing. Tell me I can forgive myself. Tell me that I shouldn’t … Continue reading the moment i knew

Not that long ago, I wrote the words “how can I make a choice that devastates me?” What a concept, a species so hellbent on self preservation making decisions that feel like little deaths. In these pockets of life when we can stay the same, we want for more. We leave comfortable places for treacherous roads in the hope that they lead somewhere even more … Continue reading the seven year eclipse

The balance of the world is a cool breeze on a day of cruel sun as much as it’s the chilling fingers of worriment after a warm moment. How endlessly we want to shrug them off. How completely we want to be suffocated in the humid air. But what would it be without its counterpart? The world would live in 2D without the contrast that … Continue reading sometime in april

Regrets are senseless. Forethoughts I couldn’t possibly have. Wisdom I can’t have yet learned. All I know is what I feel right now, all I can act on are the urges of my gut feelings, compelled forward by what I know is true and what seems to be right. All I know right now is that I would’ve rather slept next to you last night … Continue reading questions without answers

No. No you may not. The very nature of your question includes the answer. Unsolicited. You knew before you began that I wasn’t seeking your counsel. What comes next is not an effort in my best interest, it is a pageant of self-righteousness. It’s the selfish unloading of a personal opinion rooted neither in context nor in fact. Every day, I am appalled by the … Continue reading May I offer you some unsolicited advice?

The little sacrifices we make for the lives that we want. Our paths are littered with just as many bodies as they are rose petals. Some days I sound the trumpet in triumph and other days I close the blinds in dismay. Perhaps the answers we claw for aren’t the meaning of life or the cure for death, it’s the way off this wheel of … Continue reading the ledger

Isn’t that what they say, at least? I tell that to my pounding heart, my flighty stomach. I tell that to the weepy eyes, my bloody nose. It hadn’t quite hit me, this choice that I made, until I saw you waiting in the window for me to come home. Your warm body wedged next to mine in bed, little vibrating rib cage. Your cool … Continue reading the right choices are sometimes the hardest

I squirm inside the notion of imperfectly showing up for those whom I need. Banking on their love, the ever-moving embankment of grace; perhaps they don’t stick around for my little favors, maybe it’s enough that I show up at all. What an alien concept, a strange and simple idea. My life pulled tight and thin like canvas over a plethora of things to which … Continue reading Crossroads

2021 is the tailwinds of all that I sowed. And it’s threatening to surpass 2020 all together. Hear me out. It’s not that it wasn’t a difficult year for me. I was scared and displaced. I was tested and uprooted. There were times when I was relentlessly angry and I didn’t know when that anger would subside (an unusual feeling for me and I’m glad … Continue reading 2020 was the best year of my life

I’m sitting on the counter on a Monday night. A cold glass of rosé to my right as the pasta boils on the stove. Let Down by Michigander resonates off the white walls I seldom occupy. This is where we fell in love; somewhere between the second verse and the chorus. Somewhere between pine trees and nightfall. Somewhere between here and Roswell. The passenger seat … Continue reading i’m busy for the rest of my life