My life feels almost perfect, even in all the ways it still fractures and bends. Little cracks could stand to be filled and loose ends will always be better tied. But even with these live wires exposed to the perfect storm of my world, I feel like I’m standing in the eye for the first time. You watch as the others around you seem to … Continue reading open invitations

We walk through the world trying to find avenues to sum everything up. But the truth is that everyone we pass lives wildly complicated lives. The brevity of their passage along ours colors the moment with a mere glimpse at the complex congeries that ail and inspire them. There is no one that you’ve met who was static. Dismiss them as you may, every person … Continue reading complicated people

I wonder how many things you say that you think are stupid but make me smile. I wonder how many times you chide yourself in your head while I’m smiling along to the luminous hum of your presence. I wonder how often you try to find some perceived twinge in my smiles. I wonder how often you wonder if I am anything less than joyous … Continue reading wildflowers

In moments when the wind stops blowing, I wonder; have I always been this fickle? Has the world always been so black and white for me? Had I always expected to be fanned by a cool breeze? It was me – was it not? – that used to voraciously crave the feeling of ruthless sun rays assailing my porcelain skin. It was me – at … Continue reading Shades of divinity

So much of the world is easy perfection if you’re willing to bypass your humanity. If you forego the ritual picking apart of the things that you said and the faces you made, far too much of the world is sheer bliss. We’re so used to fixating a looking glass at our own mortal flaws, we can’t consume the reality of the irony in it. … Continue reading Night thoughts

How fortunate am I to adore something so completely it makes me ache. To feel sore from using the muscles of my heart so entirely. How rapturing to want so certainly a future full of this that I’m almost afraid to look. How desperately lucky am I to care so profoundly it eats me alive. This is what is most true and most worthwhile. I … Continue reading So fortunate

We only see pinpricks. Distasteful, inconsequential blips in the bigger picture. There’s a big wide world outside of what we hone in on. We’re practically up to our ears in possibilities outside of the one that transfixes us. Rosebuds peer above our downtrodden heads, and still our eyes droop to the thorns. The sky glows cornflower in a unflecked brilliance but our gaze casts to … Continue reading Blackberry winter

HenryI’ve forgotten your last namebut the faded inkstill binds you to my wrist. HenryI’ve forgotten your birthdaybut each December 7thmy thoughts drift to youas the night gets late. HenryI became the person you thought you knewhiding here behind her shadowyou never really got to meet her. HenryI’ve found other ways to lift my heartI don’t go looking for shifting shapesI don’t settle for little favors … Continue reading March 3rd

A chrysalis of good intentionsHow they diminish at my feetSuch potential for beautiful ascensionsIt spills forth with great replete. What I have requires little handlingBut I roll it forth between my fingersBehind it I’m left scramblingIf only I’d let it linger. I’ll invite such veracity into awarenessWithout my judgement’s callAnd what may come of this fairnessI will fall. Perhaps I will fallAnd fallAnd fall. Continue reading A chrysalis of good intentions

I feed the pit inside me off of unfairness. It’s unfair of me to harvest my fears from the sources that give me so many reasons to not place doubt. I see how the world around me unfolds in serendipitous and reassuring ways, the path that’s being laid before me by their unfurling petals promising and beautiful. And I am so desperately happy that the … Continue reading Cool devotions