Clumsy little creatures

We seem to be in a constant state of ripping off band aids. The dust never settles and the tiny little wounds never stop coming. When the last one starts to heal and inevitably scar, something cutting this way comes. We’re always saying that if we can just get through this week, everything will be fine, so consumed with the injury of the moment. But they mend themselves while we’re busy getting hurt again. 

Clumsy little creatures. Always falling into pits and making little messes. Somehow, we exist in an unending search for a little peace and quiet and are utterly unequipped to find it. We long for moments in time when we didn’t know we were in the good old days. Staring back jealously through the glass at a version of ourselves in a relative state of homeostasis. But there was something then too as much as there’s something now and there will definitely be something tomorrow.

But with each band aid rip, it gets easier. We learn how to cope, how – even – to take something away from it. Maybe scar tissue isn’t such a bad thing. It’s tougher, thicker, harder to penetrate. And each time we get cut, we’re growing back a little piece of body armor to shield us next time. We start to live more authentically, happily. We start to find our balance, get on our feet, suddenly we’re in fighting shape. The same things don’t cut anymore, they bruise at best. 

Start learning to do things for yourself. You don’t need approval or permission or to consider everyone’s feelings. Start learning how to keep things to yourself. Share what you want to share when you’re ready, enjoy the rare experience of having something all to yourself. Start trusting that the world will continue to turn if you take a night off from dancing in circles for everyone.

How many of our little cuts are self inflicted? How many could we have dodged if we weren’t so desperate to martyr ourselves? Each cut teaches us a new lesson, or works to craft one sublime learning. Read them like a star chart, decrypt them like a secret code. We put ourselves in the way so often. Stop fighting against the current, let yourself flow in the direction that you’re meant to head.

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