Disappointing people is a sign of a life well lived. When we make choices for ourselves, we disrupt a web of plans that others have made for themselves. We all factor into cosmic little games of hopscotch that we don’t even know we’re involved in. Creatures of habit that we are, we don’t approve of course corrections that don’t meet our expectations. But we cannot get tugged along in the windstream as others march toward their own dreams. And so disappointing people is a necessary part of getting to where we need to be, and should always take precedent over disappointing ourselves.
Despite outward appearances and posturing, we’re little more than children of the universe, clinging to what feels comforting and familiar. We celebrate heroes in lore and we tear them down in reality, because we’re jealous of the appearance of unabashed bravery. But no real hero wants to be a hero. No one ever hopes to have to develop the courage required to walk a taxing path. They would agree with your admonishment. They’d just as soon shed their heroism if it meant they also forfeit the sacrifices they’ve had to make. No human being would agree that the title and fanfare was worth the hardship. But these heroes are deviations from the source code of our humanity, suppliers of cognitive dissonance in our childlike minds.
We aren’t sure what to do with trail blazers, path finders. To stray from what feels normal and nurturing seems like certain death in our hardwired brains. Survival has become less physical as society began to run on mind games. Everyday is a constant tournament of chess. Moving yourself across a board into a safe and promising position. We’re limited by the rules of a game we did not enter. And so disappointment is imminent. Half of us aren’t even playing to win, we’re backing ourselves off the board.