If this feeling were a place, I think I could settle in here comfortably being in such crowded company. Together we’d bask in the unfiltered sun and we wouldn’t even mind that we were going blind. We’d sing all the songs, gaze at all the art, read all the books that were borne of our shared weakness. Perhaps it’s not so unpleasant a place to … Continue reading A purgatory of excellence

I could just burst, and perhaps I might. Like a good blackberry in the August heat. Perhaps I need not spill my ripened truths onto anything, but out into the open. I feel like could rush, like a charged wave, if only just to end upon a craggy shore. My skin burns with the anticipation, like it does on an unfiltered September day, I’m willing … Continue reading Goodness

Maybe the moments can pass like sweet molasses. Slow and rich and sickly sweet. Perhaps they can coat my palette with an endless puckering, perhaps they can linger in the way that only pure things do. I like this dance, I’d just never gotten the rhythm right. It’s just occurred to me, you can have all the time in the world, if you’d just slow … Continue reading In season

I’ve been thinking a lot about intentions. Silly little things that mean a lot and are ultimately forgotten in the noise. We accept them as they are and then we morph them into something new. Demonize them, glorify them, modify them to fit our fears or justifications. Intentions are lost to the sands of time because we only see what we want to see. I … Continue reading to step outside oneself

My own fear is no longer an acceptable copilot. If what I dread will meet me, I will not duck. I will not alter course, I will not tuck my tail. If the same outcome will be true either way, I will face it as the woman I am. To have rearranged myself only to succumb to the same misfortune, that is the true defeat. … Continue reading and though she be little

It’s just an unwatered seed. It’s a sheltered bud. It’s a flourishing thing not allowed to thrive. It is something all too ready to bloom, stunted in its prime. That is the thorn in my side. It’s a beautiful thing burgeoning in my soul, dying where it was planted. It’s not the emergence of something dour, it’s the suffocating of something excellent. And it’s taking … Continue reading the plight of exceptional things

In twenty six, I found some way to resew my life. I needed little more than what I could carry because, at a time, that was the only option. I made all that I have out of fragments of things I’d stowed and toted through decades. I stepped into the persona I spent years trying to fashion. By the end, I assumed a trajectory that … Continue reading twenty seven

Twenty six. The year that sprung eternal. I am a different woman on this last day than I was when it started. I have a new name and a fresh heart. I’ve scrubbed all traces of poison from my life and, in their absence, grew a forest. Most everything I held dear a year ago burned down. But I’ll be damned if I walk a … Continue reading twenty six

I’ve trudged through worse. I’ve paid higher dues. And I’ll be okay, just like I’ve always been. It’s been over a year since those words were said to me: you’ll be okay, just like you’ve always been. They’ve never stopped revisiting like a dutiful cardinal or a pleasant house guest. And they’re no less true. I’ve always been okay, in fact I’ve always thrived. I’ve … Continue reading The light of apathy

I have lost the words to say.So if you find them, make some sense of them. Continue reading Lethargy