I serve as invisible guardian to myself. All at once the princess in the tower and the armored savior down below. I strip the toxins from bad moments and leave the sweet. I swallow poison so that my conscious self won’t have to know the acrid taste of the truth. What I’m left with are hollow memories, gutted of their flesh like sweet langoustines. The … Continue reading a second life

Faith. What can I blindly follow through rigged pathways? Under what pretenses can I abandon what I see? How easily it comes to some, the instinct to follow a path laid out in muscle memory instead of breadcrumbs. A world plotted in ley lines that lead them forward instead of landmarks. I envy what I can’t condone and marvel at what I don’t understand. There … Continue reading faithfulness

I chafe at the enormity of what my heart wants. Clipped by the sheer volume of what it calls to it. So feeble, my human body. Capable of only a fraction of what I seek out. In moments of surging energy, it emanates a beacon. Inviting to it all the bounties that its cloying desperation yearns for. And my fickle bones buckle under it all. … Continue reading Black holes

We invoke wanderlust in such a limiting capacity. I have wanderlust for the girl I used to be. Wanderlust for the love I used to have. Wanderlust for the simplicity and ease I took for granted. Such desperate yearning for places I have long passed and will never again inhabit. Perhaps wanderlust need not pertain to a place, maybe it’s a longing for anywhere we … Continue reading Wanderlust

We posture like peacocks and prance like lions. We giggle at the primal and seemingly outlandish mating rituals of animals and then we engage in a far more tangled and subdued dance that yields confusion more than results. We plant well timed seeds, we harvest according to our own clocks, we seek only tender saplings in a ground we refuse to tend and water. We’re … Continue reading In the beginning

Funny how as you get older, you wish for more time to waste. How all those hours you threw away getting lost in the worlds of books and movies feel like a far gone luxury. We’re always wishing that the day were longer but I have no desire to cram it with more. Instead, I’d love a little white noise to round out the day. … Continue reading Time to waste

What a beautiful predicament, to be overwhelmed by the goodness of one’s life. To have so much to love that you couldn’t possibly choose. To have too much to be excited for to pick. To have lovers and friends. Family and passion. To have all the things that a person could dream of in abundance. To indulge in life so fully it gives you cavities. … Continue reading Gin-soaked professions

I’ve consumed so much of life recently that I find myself with a belly ache. An over eager child with eyes that are too big, ones that roll at the cautioning against too much of a good thing. I accept, without thought, all that the world is willing to give me. I do more and more and more, simply because I can. But I am … Continue reading Big eyes, small stomachs

Too often I approach a day with the trepidation of someone who doesn’t have a choice. I lock myself into the flight patterns of a migratory bird who only longs to land. But just beneath my feet are ample branches upon which to perch. I pass them ceaselessly on my fruitless journey to make it to a place where the air is temperate and the … Continue reading Change your mind

Love is not such a noble thing as we claim it to be. It is not all encompassing, it is not untethered or free of boundaries. So much of it is fickle and shifting. It’s borne of convenience and timing, whether we like the sound of that or not. Love is rarely something that springs forth and attaches itself, it is a vine that slowly … Continue reading Lover’s bluff