It is not lost on me that I am a tumultuous soul seeking quiet in the dead center of a sprawling city. I yearn for solitude and yet share a building with strangers. On the other sides of these superficial walls, life is loudly transpiring. Celebrations, mournings, professions of the heart. And when I step outside, even the night air doesn’t lie still. No matter … Continue reading Cherished cuts

My days are dotted with little coincidences. Small near misses of serendipitous things that flitter in the light like the jagged edge of a crystal. Little red strings that bind my world, almost imperceptibly. The moment that one catches my eye, it feels like God is winking at me. I don’t know if I believe in a god, I don’t know if I am qualified … Continue reading Ley lines

Too many times I have cried over spilled wine. Pushed to the limits of what I can handle and dangled over the edge, somehow the denial of simple comforts feels like too much. This is the plight of the doer. The valley of those who put themselves in the way of the world. Failure and rejection are always outcomes. They have just as much of … Continue reading The plight of the doer

Sometimes an hour more of reading does more to restore the soul than an hour less of sleep depletes it. Perhaps a little bit more daydreaming will work wonders for the world we’ll wake up in. Consider that maybe less time spent in reality makes it that much more tolerable. My overworked brain, churning to make sense of the stream of consciousness of anyone in … Continue reading Restful pacing

Take courage. You cannot stop what is already in motion, but you can ride out to meet it. You will not slow the ascent of the sun, but you can prepare for its scorch. You won’t know what challenges a fresh day will bring, but you can ready yourself for a fight. Whether or not you choose to meet it on your feet, it will … Continue reading A single flame in the darkness

The darkness comes too quickly these days. The world escapes my stagnant fingers. The moon drapes her delicate cloak upon the planet while I’m still catching my breath. I’ll simply have to create more light. What other option do I have but to illuminate what I can of my small corner of the world? I’ll just have to write more words that carve a tunnel … Continue reading Little lightmakers

I see the outline in the distance of a shimmering city. Its proximity sets my heart off on a tangent. My weary feet beat at the shifting sands at the idea of shelter. My failing body wills just a little longer into my fickle bones with desperation to rest. But the sands that separate me from this Mecca I’ve been gaining towards are many. Each … Continue reading The splinter and the flea

We all have a choice, every day that we take breath. We can choose to find new homes for our pain in the people we meet, or we can let it fall off our shoulders naturally as we continue forward. And every day that we choose the former is a day when we bestow misery back into the world. The same misfortune that we have … Continue reading The fallacy of fatigue

So focused on the crater I’m standing in, I am constantly looking down. As it rains, the crater fills to my ankles and I yearn for the days when I stood on solid ground. I remember the days, even, when I stood uphill and it washed below, out of my sight. Probably into someone else’s crater. The lip of my crater is too high for … Continue reading A matter of perspective

I don’t know what to say other than thank god for wine that makes us say what our souls have been screaming for years. Thank god for moments that feel like ledges we must leap from. Thank goodness for the good graces of all the people who accept our cowardice. Eventually we’ll all become who we’re meant to be. One day the biggest leaps will … Continue reading Passenger under the stars